Why Every SAHM Should Have a College Degree!
This blog post is for SAHMs who believe they are doing so because it is the BEST thing for their children. Recently, I was reading a post on facebook about how one woman has struggled with knowing that being a SAHM is a noble and worthy choice in life. She also mentioned how she felt that she wasted her college degree by staying at home and not contributing in her field of choice. I have felt for some time that many moms who have a degree and choose to stay at home often feel like this. Knowing this makes my heart sink because, as a stay-at-home mom myself, I truly feel that having a college degree does nothing but enhance my role. As a disclaimer, I want to point out that just because you are a stay-at-home mom does not mean that your children will have the best outcomes for their life; I am only going to argue that they CAN. In addition, I am going to be discussing parenting and how it affects our children; I will not be discussing the tasks that often get done by the stay-at-home parent such as laundry, vacuuming, cooking, etc.
The first thing I think we need to ask ourselves as parents is why do we believe it is the BEST thing for our children if a parent stays at home with them. I think, strictly from my perspective, that most families with a stay-at-home parent believe their children have the best opportunities to learn about the world whether it be educational, social, spiritual, or what have you. I could write an entire blog post about different child care methods and the effect that each of them have on the affected children, but for this post's sake, I will conclude that where your children spend most of their time during the week does not matter as much as the experiences they have while they are there. In other words, if your child is receiving quality care, your child can be expected to have substantial educational, emotional, and social experiences to prepare them for the challenges in life. This care can come from child centers, home-care from mom or dad, or a combination of the two. Here is the rub, as noted by Laura Berk inChild Development, "much North American child care is of poor quality" because of reasons like poor facility conditions, large child to caregiver ratio, non-interactive daily activities, poor teacher qualifications, little parental involvement, inadequate pay of caregivers, and/or lacking accreditation or licensing. In fact, a 2014 report from Child Care Aware shows that out of 114,000 child care centers in the U.S., only 10.3% hold national accreditation and out of 180,000 family child care homes in the U.S., a staggering 1.1% holds national accreditation. These reasons can make finding a high quality child care center difficult, which is where stay-at-home parenting comes in. Much of these concerns can be mitigated if the parent(s) have access to good materials to help provide their children with appropriate daily tasks to encourage the skills they do not currently possess and challenge the ones they do. According to Craig Hart as paraphrased in Child Development, there are four things he recommends to ensure children reach their best outcomes:
"1.Teach moral values, to help children make wise choices in the face of their genetic inclinations and pressures from peers. 2. Adapt parenting to help children overcome unfavorable dispositions. 3. Foster children's positive capacities through rich, varied experiences- academic, social, athletic, artistic, musical, and spiritual. 4. Engage in authoritative child rearing, a style that consistently predicts positive outcomes for children and adolescents." ("Combating the Myth that Parents Don't Matter")
Based on the findings regarding quality care, I am betting that you are already thinking differently about what a stay-at-home parent should be doing. If you aren't a parent who does these things, it's OK. Let's face it, none of us are perfect and if you are a stay-at-home mom because you feel pressure to do so rather than doing it based on your intrinsic desire, then you may not have ever even considered all that you can be expected to do.
Now, on to discussing why having a degree aids you in this career choice. As I was thinking about this topic, I started to make a list of things I believe that I learned while earning my four-year degree that I use on a day-to-day basis. The basic list includes adaptability, cooperative team work, multi-tasking, communication skills, perseverance, critical thinking, problem solving, and time management. I was thinking I would run into problems trying to argue that having a degree is useful as a stay-at-home mom because as Americans, we generally want a degree to help advance our careers and make us more money; however, I discovered something unexpected. Take a look at this summary of students' expectations from "The American Freshmen: National Norms for Fall 1999",
Nearly three-quarters of freshman surveyed in 1999 reported that the ability to get a good job and to be able to make more money were very important reasons for deciding to go to college.
Fifty-nine percent reported that gaining a general education and appreciation of ideas was a very important reason.
Sixty-four percent of the students surveyed expected to major in a pre-professional or technical field.
Twenty-eight percent expected to major in a liberal arts field.
Now take a look at this list taken from "GOALS FOR LIBERAL LEARNING AND COLLEGE-LEVEL LEARNING AS STATED BY A SELECTION OF HIGHER EDUCATION ASSOCIATIONS, DISCIPLINARY ASSOCIATIONS, ACCREDITING AGENCIES, STUDENTS, AND COLLEGES/UNIVERSITIES"
Keywords Contained in College Goals Statements Sampled from 14 colleges and universities
Broader Concepts
Note: most often cited in boldface
Communication
Reading
Listening
Writing
Speaking
Thinking
Analysis, analytical thinking
Critical thinking
Inquiry
Problem solving
Values/ethics
Global perspectives
Cross cultural knowledge
Social interaction
Personal perspective
Aesthetic responsiveness
Love of learning/continual learning
Social responsibility
Connections
Integration
and less often
Adaptiveness, Group participation, Job readiness, Personal leadership, Diversity, High achievement, Work independently, Physical well-being, Tolerance and understanding, Effective citizenship, Creativity, Research, Broad perspective, Pursuit of truth, Intellectual integrity, Transfer of learning, Application of knowledge, Action
There is a clear difference between what students attend college for and what colleges and universities are hoping to instill in their students. As I read through the list, I can agree that even though I am not perfect (or even good) at all of these skills, I did experience all of them and grow from my experiences with them. I sincerely hope that you did too! I am not arguing that all of these colleges succeeded in reaching their goals, but it is interesting to note that the goals of the colleges are not all geared toward higher salaries and successful careers. In addition, I am not saying that you cannot gain these traits without having received a four year degree because of course that is false. I do, however, appreciate some of the experiences I had during classroom discussions that I may not otherwise have had that have shaped my personal beliefs and opinions or changed some of my personal beliefs and opinions. I believe that having a degree - any four year degree, arms you with the ability to provide the best outcomes for your child and follow through with the recommendations by Hart as mentioned earlier. I also believe that college gave us the forum (safer than the real world in some instances) to fail, and even fail again, at these skills and resiliently try another time. However, there are some degrees that are more easily used in the home than others. For example, I have a degree in business. I genuinely feel my knowledge received in business school has blessed my family's life. I have the basic skills needed to maintain our family budget, I understand the concepts behind the loans I have and how I can pay them off faster, I have skills to help me plan for retirement using the time value of money and knowledge about the stock market, etc. I also have a minor in psychology and took several classes in family relationships and child development. I know some of you have degrees in psychology, child development, music, early education, theater, and many others that come in handy at home. If you have a degree that appears to be less useful, I assert that the traits you gained attending those geography classes or studying for your anthropology final are what really matters in the case of stay-at-home parenting. Not to mention, your willingness and greater capacity to help your children as they go to school.
Finally, I believe that your example and attitude about higher education has an impact on your children as well. According to Susan Choy from MPR Associates , Inc., 82 percent of all students whose parents had a bachelor's degree or higher had immediately enrolled in college after high school graduation in 1999. Although this information is a bit dated, I have no doubt that we would encounter similar findings in more recent reports and although this does not guarantee a student will complete his/her degree, it does indicate a desire in higher education. In addition, children who come from homes with parents who have a four year degree or higher are read to more frequently, have higher cognitive skills, and better concentration than other children(Baum and Payea). Having a college degree means you are more likely to participate in volunteer work, donating blood, and voting. These experiences may not be directly correlated to higher education itself, but they are all things I'd like my children to do; I have the power to set those examples for my children. We take our higher education for granted quite frequently because we have grown and changed most often imperceptibly, so it's not to say we wouldn't donate blood or vote without the added experience of college, but then again, maybe we wouldn't. I know that my opinions of voting certainly changed significantly while I was in college due to other students' viewpoints and the opportunities I had to question my own viewpoints on particular candidates and ballot topics.
C.S. Lewis once stated, "Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work." If that's true; if we believe that children deserve our very best, then we should be obtaining as much education and as many skills as we can to benefit them. This gives stay-at-home parents a stronger meaning behind the menial tasks of chauffeuring, cooking, cleaning, fixing boo-boos, event-planning, refereeing, and learning to be a handy-man because we do those things for a higher purpose. So, if you are a stay-at-home mom and you are wondering what to do after the dishes are done and you are browsing Pinterest (guilty!), then maybe you have missed the point of being a stay-at-home mom.
The first thing I think we need to ask ourselves as parents is why do we believe it is the BEST thing for our children if a parent stays at home with them. I think, strictly from my perspective, that most families with a stay-at-home parent believe their children have the best opportunities to learn about the world whether it be educational, social, spiritual, or what have you. I could write an entire blog post about different child care methods and the effect that each of them have on the affected children, but for this post's sake, I will conclude that where your children spend most of their time during the week does not matter as much as the experiences they have while they are there. In other words, if your child is receiving quality care, your child can be expected to have substantial educational, emotional, and social experiences to prepare them for the challenges in life. This care can come from child centers, home-care from mom or dad, or a combination of the two. Here is the rub, as noted by Laura Berk in
"1.Teach moral values, to help children make wise choices in the face of their genetic inclinations and pressures from peers. 2. Adapt parenting to help children overcome unfavorable dispositions. 3. Foster children's positive capacities through rich, varied experiences- academic, social, athletic, artistic, musical, and spiritual. 4. Engage in authoritative child rearing, a style that consistently predicts positive outcomes for children and adolescents." ("Combating the Myth that Parents Don't Matter")
Based on the findings regarding quality care, I am betting that you are already thinking differently about what a stay-at-home parent should be doing. If you aren't a parent who does these things, it's OK. Let's face it, none of us are perfect and if you are a stay-at-home mom because you feel pressure to do so rather than doing it based on your intrinsic desire, then you may not have ever even considered all that you can be expected to do.
Now, on to discussing why having a degree aids you in this career choice. As I was thinking about this topic, I started to make a list of things I believe that I learned while earning my four-year degree that I use on a day-to-day basis. The basic list includes adaptability, cooperative team work, multi-tasking, communication skills, perseverance, critical thinking, problem solving, and time management. I was thinking I would run into problems trying to argue that having a degree is useful as a stay-at-home mom because as Americans, we generally want a degree to help advance our careers and make us more money; however, I discovered something unexpected. Take a look at this summary of students' expectations from "The American Freshmen: National Norms for Fall 1999",
Nearly three-quarters of freshman surveyed in 1999 reported that the ability to get a good job and to be able to make more money were very important reasons for deciding to go to college.
Fifty-nine percent reported that gaining a general education and appreciation of ideas was a very important reason.
Sixty-four percent of the students surveyed expected to major in a pre-professional or technical field.
Twenty-eight percent expected to major in a liberal arts field.
Now take a look at this list taken from "GOALS FOR LIBERAL LEARNING AND COLLEGE-LEVEL LEARNING AS STATED BY A SELECTION OF HIGHER EDUCATION ASSOCIATIONS, DISCIPLINARY ASSOCIATIONS, ACCREDITING AGENCIES, STUDENTS, AND COLLEGES/UNIVERSITIES"
Keywords Contained in College Goals Statements Sampled from 14 colleges and universities
Broader Concepts
Note: most often cited in boldface
Communication
Reading
Listening
Writing
Speaking
Thinking
Analysis, analytical thinking
Critical thinking
Inquiry
Problem solving
Values/ethics
Global perspectives
Cross cultural knowledge
Social interaction
Personal perspective
Aesthetic responsiveness
Love of learning/continual learning
Social responsibility
Connections
Integration
and less often
Adaptiveness, Group participation, Job readiness, Personal leadership, Diversity, High achievement, Work independently, Physical well-being, Tolerance and understanding, Effective citizenship, Creativity, Research, Broad perspective, Pursuit of truth, Intellectual integrity, Transfer of learning, Application of knowledge, Action
There is a clear difference between what students attend college for and what colleges and universities are hoping to instill in their students. As I read through the list, I can agree that even though I am not perfect (or even good) at all of these skills, I did experience all of them and grow from my experiences with them. I sincerely hope that you did too! I am not arguing that all of these colleges succeeded in reaching their goals, but it is interesting to note that the goals of the colleges are not all geared toward higher salaries and successful careers. In addition, I am not saying that you cannot gain these traits without having received a four year degree because of course that is false. I do, however, appreciate some of the experiences I had during classroom discussions that I may not otherwise have had that have shaped my personal beliefs and opinions or changed some of my personal beliefs and opinions. I believe that having a degree - any four year degree, arms you with the ability to provide the best outcomes for your child and follow through with the recommendations by Hart as mentioned earlier. I also believe that college gave us the forum (safer than the real world in some instances) to fail, and even fail again, at these skills and resiliently try another time. However, there are some degrees that are more easily used in the home than others. For example, I have a degree in business. I genuinely feel my knowledge received in business school has blessed my family's life. I have the basic skills needed to maintain our family budget, I understand the concepts behind the loans I have and how I can pay them off faster, I have skills to help me plan for retirement using the time value of money and knowledge about the stock market, etc. I also have a minor in psychology and took several classes in family relationships and child development. I know some of you have degrees in psychology, child development, music, early education, theater, and many others that come in handy at home. If you have a degree that appears to be less useful, I assert that the traits you gained attending those geography classes or studying for your anthropology final are what really matters in the case of stay-at-home parenting. Not to mention, your willingness and greater capacity to help your children as they go to school.
Finally, I believe that your example and attitude about higher education has an impact on your children as well. According to Susan Choy from MPR Associates , Inc., 82 percent of all students whose parents had a bachelor's degree or higher had immediately enrolled in college after high school graduation in 1999. Although this information is a bit dated, I have no doubt that we would encounter similar findings in more recent reports and although this does not guarantee a student will complete his/her degree, it does indicate a desire in higher education. In addition, children who come from homes with parents who have a four year degree or higher are read to more frequently, have higher cognitive skills, and better concentration than other children(Baum and Payea). Having a college degree means you are more likely to participate in volunteer work, donating blood, and voting. These experiences may not be directly correlated to higher education itself, but they are all things I'd like my children to do; I have the power to set those examples for my children. We take our higher education for granted quite frequently because we have grown and changed most often imperceptibly, so it's not to say we wouldn't donate blood or vote without the added experience of college, but then again, maybe we wouldn't. I know that my opinions of voting certainly changed significantly while I was in college due to other students' viewpoints and the opportunities I had to question my own viewpoints on particular candidates and ballot topics.
C.S. Lewis once stated, "Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work." If that's true; if we believe that children deserve our very best, then we should be obtaining as much education and as many skills as we can to benefit them. This gives stay-at-home parents a stronger meaning behind the menial tasks of chauffeuring, cooking, cleaning, fixing boo-boos, event-planning, refereeing, and learning to be a handy-man because we do those things for a higher purpose. So, if you are a stay-at-home mom and you are wondering what to do after the dishes are done and you are browsing Pinterest (guilty!), then maybe you have missed the point of being a stay-at-home mom.
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